Stress on holiday? No way!

What is stress?

Stress is an English word meaning “pressure” or “tension”. In physics, stress explains elasticity, the property of a body that allows it to recover its original size and shape after being compressed or stretched by an external force (Hooke’s Law – 1658). The maximum amount of stress a body can withstand before it is permanently deformed differs from body to body. In psychological terms we speak of stress to indicate the reaction resulting from the perceived inability to cope with the demands and demands of both a physical (discomfort, physical pain, illness, noise, heat) and psychological nature (deadlines, interruptions, conflicts, lack of money, etc.).

Not all stress is bad, there is good stress (eustress) and bad stress (distress). 

Good stress vs Bad stress

Good stress (eustress) is the tension and excitement that makes you organise your holidays, prepare for them and look for ways to relax, socialise, learn and have fun. Good stress develops and is nurtured in an environment which is considered to be safe: friendly and fun people, pleasant and welcoming surroundings, a suitable temperature, challenges which you can achieve. 

Bad stress (distress) develops in the face of any intuition or perception of real or imagined threat, which signals danger and in which you feel or sense that you do not have the capacity or the means to deal with a given situation (arguments, lack of understanding, endless traffic, unbearable heat, among others).

What are the ways we have to respond to the tension signals that represent danger and how can we feel safe?

Stephen Porges developed the polyvagal theory to explain how our nervous system reacts to the environment depending on cues of danger or safety. It seems that there is a hierarchy of response from your autonomic nervous system that translates into behaviours that arise and can help cope with and transform bad stress: immobilisation, action and social relationship.

The immobilisation mode is expressed when faced with the most unexpected situations, you block, remain unresponsive or in a state of inaction. At other times, it seems as if he switches off, goes into automatic mode and stops being in the here and now: he enters the mode of “being on the moon”. These are instinctive and more primitive responses that one has when one feels that one is not in physical and psychological safety. There are several ways to deal with this state of back stress (as it results from the action of the parasympathetic system responsible for all the automatic actions of your body).

Acting is one of the privileged modes of functioning of survival: do, do, do. We can enter this state when we act to cope with the discomfort of physical stress factors: noise, traffic, having too many things to do, not being considered, heard, etc. To get out of this state, each person reacts differently: either they get into the mode of organising and cleaning, they walk, they shout, they sing (singing is a great stress manager), they write, they get it off their chest with someone.  This mode of action is the responsibility of the sympathetic nervous system.

And finally, the social relationship mode means that you feel safe when you are in tune with other people whether you are alone or in company. Everything that makes you feel in this state can be activities as varied as playing games, having a hobby, feeling the sun on your face, listening to music, laughing without reason, being aware of the here and now, breathing by paying attention to breathing in and out, among others. But when you meet people you don’t feel safe with or in tune with, when you have to think three times before you say something, then you are not in social safety mode but, rather, fear mode.

None of these ways is bad or good in itself, what matters for you to feel good is that on a daily basis you can experience the action of these mechanisms of your body that translate into behaviours and feelings of well-being or overload (tiredness, boredom, among others).

Why is it so important to take a few days off?

A holiday is an opportunity to disconnect from routine and everything connected to you. Which requires moving away to other environments, doing other activities, having entertainment that is challenging, mentally absorbing and meaningful to you. 

In the 19th century doctors recommended rest cures, especially for women. They were bedded down in dark rooms on a salt-free diet. Others recommended, especially for men, fresh air and vigorous exercise[1] – a 2015 study found that “71% of workers who took regular holidays reported being satisfied with their work, compared to 17% of workers who did not”.

How to ensure holidays are stress-free?

To ensure your holiday stays free from bad stress disconnect from your usual routine, have a laugh, use and abuse hobbies, sleep and naps and call the kids and grown-ups. All these strategies have been identified in my book “STOP – 50 Strategies for Women without Time“.